Being Fathers and Men: Raising Up and Rightful Practice

Summary

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To be a good ,or excellent father, we must be African men at our best, mentally mature, morally and spiritually grounded, deeply embedded in our own culture, ever sensitive to our children and our partner, their mother, and properly prepared for any task or assignment we assume or are given. Clearly, the problem of adolescent boys' becoming fathers is a serious one. For they lack the mental and moral maturity and the material means, even if physically they can have sex and inseminate an egg. Indeed, the simple donation of sperm is best done at a sperm bank and in any case, doesn't make a father in a real sense, whether adolescent or adult. That is why it's so important to counsel adolescents against becoming an accidental or intentional father without preparation or promise. And the same advice is good for adults who have no commitment to the potential mother or have no interest in caring for or even claiming a future child.

Adolescent fathers, however, are increasingly becoming a major challenge to their families and the community, for not only do they often bring into being children they don't want or can't care for^ they mso help produce the adolescent mother who is similarly unprepared for parenthood and often unwilling to accept it Thus, there is an evewncreasing need for older men to stand up, step forward and be men and mentors for the young which the best of our tradition calls for and compels. It is on us, tlgte older and elder ones to model and mentor, to make a compelling case for responsible sexual and social behavior, preparation for rightful male/female relations and righteous fatherhood, and to be a worthy member of family and community. But this requires the older men to be the models they teach in a meaningful way, to be present and prepared, conscious, committed and capable African men in or on aie way to relationships that reflect the life lessons they teach.

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Extract

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Being Fathers and Men: Raising Up and Rightful Practice

Being fathers like the fight for freedom is no-light work or easy walk in the world Indeed, for us as Black men; fatherhood is a combined, long, difficult and demanding-struggle to be duly respected as men, highly regarded as partners, and greatly valued as parents. And it is also to honor our ethical obligation...

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